Ummm...Houston, we have a problem.

Ok, if its me that's correcting written grammar errors ... me with my illiterate non-spelling, run on sentence writing ass then you can best believe the end is near. See, what had happened was...

I am now publishing thru Createspace and a few days ago I uploaded the cover and interior so that I could order a print test/format copy basically its just a Go/no go test to make sure I'm ready once the final edits are complete because after the Aug 6th things are going to move wicked fast.

So I upload everything and wait for approval. And this is the error message I recv'd:

The interior and cover files for ...And They All Lived ..., have been reviewed. The cover file does not meet our submission requirements for the reason(s) listed below. Please make any necessary adjustments to your cover file and upload it again by logging in to createspace.com. The author name for this book was listed as Crystal Connor but the cover indicates the author name is Crystal Connor,s . The author name displayed on the cover must match the author name entered during title setup.

OMFG are you kidding me?! Here how I responded to this email:

First of all I used an apostrophe: Crystal Connor's, not a comma Crystal Connor,s. Now the apostrophe has three uses:
1. to form possessives
2. to show the omission of letters
3. to indicate certain plurals of lower case letters
The apostrophe usage here is to indicate possession and if you refer to my previous titles The Darkness ISBN 978-1466369559 and Artificial Light ISBN 978-14791042, both of which were published thru Createspace, the use of the apostrophe was allowed. Thank you in advance for your prompt attn in the matter.

Problem solved right? No. But wait there's more:


Hello Crystal, Thank you for contacting us and raising some valid points in regard to the author's name mismatch we detected. We''ll need to do some more research and I'm sure with all the information you have provided, we will get to the bottom this. I am connecting with our Technical Services team in order to get the best answer. You will hear from us within one to two business days. I really appreciate your patience. As always, please feel free to contact us if you have any other questions or concerns Best regards, CreateSpace Member Services

(Insert gun in mouth. Pull trigger.)

Valid points? No its basic English grammar which doesn't require the assistance of a Technical Services team. The person I've been corresponding to has a very exotic looking name which means Createspace outsourced this part of the process to a country outside the United States. Now I think everyone in the world would agree that its a challenge talking with someone when language is a barrier ... however I think its effn BS to hire a workforce to review works written in English and the only qualification needed is a certificate of completion of an ESL class.

That I have to explain grammar to a person who was hired to be a proofreader is insanely frustrating and having to wait to hear back from the 'Technical Service team' is nowhere near convenient.

T Minus 32 days

Hi Guys,
So the release of ...And They All Lived Happily Ever After! is just 32 days away and I am so exicted I'm not really sure what to do with myself. Not only is Aug 28th the release date its also my birthday =D Its gonna be a super busy day, as I have three events plannned ... Two book signings and two parties! I know that equals four but two of the book signings roll into the party so it just counts as one event. So my day will start with a birthday breakfast gala, then a noon signing then the big reading/signing/birthday dinner bash. (I've had my outfit picked out back in June lol)

Ok, so here is the official cover:

Sweet uh? I thought so too! And here is the book trailer:

So far all of the ARC reviews are super duper good...And if things weren't already insanely awesome it looks like I'm also going to have an audiobook!

Next next few weeks are gonna be tough. We're over half way done with the rework and edits and about 70% finished with formatting for Kindle and its digital cousins. The paperback verison has to be ready to go by Aug 6th so that the bookstores can order it before the book signing and I still need a few more promo items for both bookstores.

That's it for now, just wanted to touch base and check in...love you all and talk to you soon!

Gearing up for the 3rd Release!

How to Survive a Horror Movie Tip#30
Never say, "I'll be right back" because you won't. 

Hey Guys,
I am so sorry for the lack of content, but I can explain. See, what had happened was....lol. No really I have been really busy in the best way possible. the rework process for ...And They All Lived Happily Ever After! is now underway. I am so excited about this book the blurbs and the pre-release reviews are coming in and they are really good =D

Oh! I was accepted into the Wicked Women Writer's group! It's such an amazing group of women w/members of which are some of the best up and coming names in the horror genre and when I posted this pic for the group I was sent links to other group members desks and ask to do this same...so the video below is of the hot ass mess that is my desk. ha ha

The Desk of a full time writer.

I am also spliting my time between shoring up my anthology and the last book in the Spectrum Trilogy and I already have something simmering on the back burner so I apologize that you haven't seen much of me on facebook and on my blog but I'll be trying a little harder to make more time for you guys.

Thanks again for checking in and I'll ttyl

I know, I know...

How to survive a horror movie tip # 29.
Never go out to investigate strange noises.

Todays’s Horrorscope:
An underwater research station has many drawbacks – isolation, lack of fresh food, leaky faucets – but then again, it will be the only safe haven after the Earth’s orbit swings dangerously close to the sun. With that in mind, consider taking scuba diving classes now.

I know, I know it! It’s been hella since I last posted but in my defense I am currently working on two full length novels for you guys of course book 3, my anthology …And They All Lived Happily Ever After! just has two more stories before its shipped off to the editor. Oh speaking of anthologies another one of my short stories was picked up by Norgus Press…whoo hoo! Here is the trailer for my anthology and the cover for the one by Norgus Press.

I love you all ttys!

Mouth Off Mondays!

How to survive a horror movie tip # 71
If it's late at night and your dog suddenly perks up his ears and growls lowly in his throat, never EVER say "Whassa matter Boy? Gotta go out?"

Today’s Horrorscope: You would make an excellent librarian, as nothing pleases you more than curling up with a dusty old book that hasn’t see the light of day in centuries. But just as most books open the gateways to the imagination, others open gateways to dark, unspeakable dimensions. When in doubt avoid, avoid reciting cryptic incantations.
Beware of: Keys made of finger bone.

So last week I was made aware of two things: 1st that you can not leave a comment on the DVD Archives page (insert explicit language here) and that 2, I haven’t posted a DVD pick of the week since Nov. You guys not being able to comment on the archive page upsets me but it gave rise to a new post idea.

It’s going to be called “Mouth Off Monday’s” and basically its going to be an open forum so that you can post a comment about anything you’ve read here on my blog on my fan page, you can leave comments/reviews about one of my books or short stories or just post a comment to say hello.

As for the DVD pick of the week, yes I am way behind, and the reason I haven’t posted a DVD review in awhile is because I’ve been writing. I’ve started the final book in The Spectrum Trilogy, I’m working on shoring up the last of the stories that will be featured in “…And They All Lived Happily After!” and I’ve started kicking some ideas around for another novel. This will be a stand-alone book that has nothing to do with the trilogy.

Plus my circuits of conventions is coming up real quick so I’m sorry about the movie reviews but I’ll be back at it once things start to slow down. I’m going to try and post again later this week, so until next time, the floor is yours =D

Hating on Amazon.

How to survive a horror movie tip #28
Never ask, "Who's there?" It’s a death wish.

Word of the day: Poseur
Pronunciation: (poh-ZUHR) Meaning: One who behaves in an affected manner to impress others. (Am I the only one who thought this correct spelling of this word was: poser?)

"On Wednesday the American Booksellers Association's for-profit subsidiary, IndieCommerce, began removing all Amazon titles from its database. The actions followed decisions by Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million and Indigo to not carry Amazon Publishing titles."

Read entire article here:

http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/bookselling/article/50551-aba-s-indiecommerce-site-dropping-amazon-publishing-titles.html

OMFG, I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. It reminds me of the crusade that was lead against Bill Gates in my city a few years ago. Apparently the ABA is up in arms over Amazon’s new launch of a promotion that allows authors to sell their eBooks on Amazon exclusively for 90 days. I opted out of this option only because for me, it wasn’t that practical for two reasons. The 1st being Artificial Light is sequel, so to limit it to just one retailer when The Darkness was purchased from both Amazon and Barnes and Nobles wouldn’t made much sense. The 2nd reason I didn’t go that route is because the #1 device the digital copy of The Darkness was downloaded to was not the Kindle but android smart phones.

Speaking of all this digital downloading and Bill Gates, I live in Seattle and my beloved city is known for more than just the rain, it's coffee snob/junkies, and serial killers. We’re known also as a high-tech city. Out of all the major US cities Popular Science ranked Seattle as #9 giving us a score of 87 out of 100. Guess where Amazon is located…yep right here in the Emerald City.

New York Times Best-selling, Author Lewis Perdue says:

“My biggest point is that ABA and B&N need to compete with Amazon, rather than whine and obstruct. I'd love for them to provide competitive opportunities, tools, and other incentives that only Amazon offers. ABA and others complain (not without some justification) that Amazon locks them out... well, B&N, ABA and other chains have provided almost nothing and thus have effectively locked authors out of their operations, leaving indie authors with only Amazon to work with.”

What an interesting concept…competion. Which was the very same agurgement that was offered when the those on the fringes demanded that Bill Gates be hung from the SpaceNeedle.

Compete. If you refuse to sell a product that I want you’re not going to win me over as a customer because I am not going to settle for whatever you it is your offering as an alternative. If you don’t have what I want, I’m simple go to where I can get it. Even if that means I have to go through hell to do so.

Compete. Because I’m not the one your hurting if you don’t…and no one states more elquently that Mr. Perdue himself.

Read his take on it here:

http://lewisperdue.com/?p=1221

I know how awesome it feels when to have a book signed

Word of the day: Babel
Pronunciation(BAB-uhl, BAY-bunl) noun:
A confused mixture of noises or voices
A scense of noise or confusion

How to survive a horror movie tip # 49
If an item has "evil"/"demonic"/"cursed"/etc in its name/description, this is NOT your cue to start playing with it.

So this upcoming Saturday I’ve been invited to a private book signing! The book club hosting the signing also invited another local book club and I’m really excited about this event.

It’s still kinda jarring that people want my autograph and book events with me as the main event, and it still feels like having the wind knocked out of me every time someone I don’t know walks up to me and starts talking about something I wrote.

I used to be that person, that crazed fan who would send emails authors, stalk my favorites on Facebook, and run around conventions like a kid in a candy store with $100.00 to spend. I know how awesome it feels when to have a book signed or having my picture taken with mega superstars like George A Ramero and Malcolm McDowell

It feels just as awesome as taking a picture with locally famous people like horror model Jeanmarie Peck and renowned make up artist Dana Young or zombie novelist Eloise Knapp.

On Saturday I am taking my copy of The Darkness to the signing and I’m going to ask everyone find a blank section in the book, write a quick note about what they thought of The Darkness and then sign it because I know how awesome it feels when to have a book signed =D