From the Mind of Master Imaginationist Crystal Connor ~"A Trusted Name in Terror."

The Darkness, Artificial Light, In The Valley of Shadows

Sunday, October 20, 2013

A Tale of Two Houses

Things you WILL see black people doing in horror movies, thing # 26

If anyone says: "Let's see what this does," "What does this do," or "Let's try this," we're already questioning the situation and thinking up escape plans or excuses to leave.

Dudes! Me and my kid sis kicked it this weekend, we went to two haunted houses, a convention, got lost in the middle of now where twice, meet all kinds of awesome people, spent way too much money and are gonna eat dinner at mom's house tonight cause now we're both broke! 

I don't have a DVD pick of the week this week so instead I am going to be reviewing the haunted house we went to.

1st up: Friday Night: Georgetown Haunted Morgue
The 1st thing we noticed right off the bat was how long the line was... 
Usually for me that goes in the con side but with some of the actors walking up and down the line scaring people and a guy with a chain saw chasing people thru the food court the organizers turned it into a pro. 

When we heard screaming from behind us we turned around and came face to face with this monster!
I stopped her and asked if she would pose w/me. She did, and apparently that was the million dollar question because after my sister took this picture she upgraded us to VIP and moved us up to the front of the line.

The special effects and ambiance were really good. There was a real feeling of claustrophobia, the sets were believable and the actors were great. Even thou it seemed longer it was only about 15 minutes, which was time enough because there was so much stuff going on it causes a state of sensory overload. The highlight of that haunt was when we thought we were trapped because we could open the doors and then we realized that we had to squeeze thru these giant balloon air table things stacked high with body parts anhalf way thru Pinhead shows up to block our path. When the clown w/the chain saw popped out my sister went all 'save yourself' on my ass and left me as she bolted from the manic clown.

House #2 Saturday Night: Nightmare at Beaver Lake

Ok so this one is a haunted trail in the middle of the woods.
This is the only picture I got because we were at Geek Girl Con earlier in the day and my phone died. The location itself and the weather became huge characters in this haunt. It was foggy making it darker than it was already was, distorting the things you actually saw along with thing things you thought you saw and muting the natural sounds you would expect to hear while walking thru a forest. And then it started to rain.

A highlight of this haunt was the fact that a huge part of the cast of characters are children. We knew we were going to stumble into a Deliverance scene because we heard the banjo but the spine chiller for that set was when a child who is far too young to have seen that movie sneaks up behinds you and starts quoting from it...and nails it! One of the things that unintentionally heightened the tension for my sister was when some of the monsters and even a zombie called me by name. The horror community here in Seattle runs in small circles so a lot of us know each other, but she was completely caught off guard (and I was too) and she didn't like it. Another awesome feature was the fork in the trail that gave you the option of scary or scarier of course we went down the scarier trail and paid dearly for it =D

The part that fucked us up were the horses, we didn't hear them coming and by the time we saw them we were nearly right under them and it wasn't until I backed away that I saw the headless riders!  

The Georgetown Haunted Morgue is a traditional haunted house and if you've been to enough of them you can predict what's just around the corner. But with that being said, it was scarier than I thought it was going to be and with the way the organizers worked the crowd I am going to have to rate it 4.5 stars. Out of the two this is the one my sister liked the most.

The Nightmare at Beaver Lake was my favorite and here's why. The wooded trail, fog, and rain made everything scarier because it let's your imagination do most of the work. Another thing that turned into an unintentional bonus was my sister hurt her ankle so we couldn't run so we moved out of the way of those who could and the result was that we spent most of our time on that trail alone. Just me and my little sister...In the woods at night...Holding hands breathlessly awaiting the arrival of zombies, vampires, headless horsemen and...

I'm giving this one 5 Stars. Have a good one guys 


  1. Crystal and Cynthia,
    Thank you so much for the glowing review of the Nightmare at Beaver Lake! Coming from someone that writes horror, it means a lot. And yes, we are all a tight knit community, but the reason some other actors knew your names is because the are psycho, I er, Imean, psychic, yea, that's it. Psychic and can read your mind....
    So gald you ladies had a good time! ~j~

  2. LMMFAO! Psychic uh? Okay, we'll run w/that ;p We were talking about those kids yesterday and the 'Deliverance' kid was really good and was our favorite there were two others that really stood out and made a lasting impression was the vampires daughter/victim who was seizing on the couch and the little girl sitting on the stove and the city worker telling us to be careful and putting cones down was just damn right cruel!