From the Mind of Master Imaginationist Crystal Connor ~"A Trusted Name in Terror."

The Darkness, Artificial Light, In The Valley of Shadows

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It’s Gluttony, not Vanity that will send me to Hell

Word of the Day:
PRONUNCIATION:(DY-vuh-gayt)verb intr.: To wander or digress.

How to survive a horror movie Tip # 47:
If you're black, you will have the best advice, but you will become the scapegoat and die first anyway.

So I took this little stupid test online and the results would be to tell you of which of the deadly sin you would be sent to Hell for. Image my surprise when my results revealed Gluttony.

I laughed it off and posted the test results on Facebook. But then I thought about it, and thought about it and thought about it and then got mad, because surely, if I am to be Damned by committing a mortal sin, Vanity would be the one that does me in.

I absolutely believe in God, so much so that I wear my tattoo heralding my faith like a coat of amour so no I don’t want to go to Hell. But as all of you know the amount of time I spend gazing upon my own reflection would make even Adonis raise an eyebrow. And as most you know due to the removal of my overactive thyroid I have gained about 60lbs this year and am very unhappy about it…


I called my mom pissed off and in tears pleading my case that I am not a glutton and the weight gain was due to the medication I have to take. Once my mom figured what the in hell I was talking about she agreed with the results.

I was devastated and proclaimed that I was going to the gym and my mom said gluttony does not mean over eating, it means excess.

No it doesn’t!

Yes it does.

Then she went on to remind me that when I bought my 1st high end Japanese import I was working as a union member making a little over $35hr but despite that I went out and got another job, a part time job, so that I could make more money to buy the car faster even though there was nothing wrong with the little American sports car I was driving at the time never minding the fact I was so tired I didn’t even know who I was.

I told her that I didn’t see anything wrong for working really hard for the stuff that you want. She told me it wasn’t the cars, jewels, and shoes that made me gluttonous but my work habit. She told me “that ever sense you were little you have always worked to hard and pushed your to far when there was no reason to do so. You and your sister and brother have always had more than enough, and yet you, by choice, work as if you don’t have nearly enough. You give more than you take, so no I don’t think you’re greedy and though at times your distraction with your reflection is probamatic for the most part it’s endearing. But you body is a temple and you work to hard to get the proper rest and as long as I can remember you’ve always worked on the Sabbath. So yes, Gluttony is correct.”


Though I joke about my vanity what my mother said about my Glutton is no laughing matter, so I the New Year fast approaches I will be heeding my mom’s warnings.

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