From the Mind of Master Imaginationist Crystal Connor ~"A Trusted Name in Terror."

The Darkness, Artificial Light, In The Valley of Shadows

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Live Action Reviews! The Baby Shower

Things you never see black people doing in horror movies: Thing #23
Walk by a window with the killer standing right there and NOT see him! We make great use of peripheral vision!

At 1:30 am on Sept 30th 2014, Crystal Connor, bundled up in bed, downloaded a movie to her computer and clicked play.  For the next 89 minutes her neighbors were subjected to screaming, crying, and expletive outburst…

This is the unedited journal chronicling the harrowing experience her neighbors were forced to endure as she watched, Pablo Illanes 2011 Baby Shower
Reader discretion is Advised
Entry 1: No. Your kids need more than just you.

Entry 2: If you didn’t want anyone to answer the phn you should have unplugged it.

Entry 3: What truth?

Entry 4: What the hell?

Entry 5: Bad ass little boy!

Entry 6: Ok no, I don’t like this woman. They need to get Angela outta there.

Entry 7: Yeah, don’t leave her there

Entry 8: Wow

Entry 9: No they can’t leave!

Entry 10: The fucking tea

Entry 11: Oh my fucking God, what in the hell?!

Entry 12: Now who the fuck is this guy?

Entry 13: No she’s not, she’s throwing up blood.

Entry 14: Fuck this poor girl

Entry 15: What kinda people are these…

Entry 16: Don’t scream


Entry 18: Hold the fucking phone, did Angela plan all of this over some fucking guy?!


Entry 20: Are you happy now? Those were your friends

Entry 21: Hit her again! See, no one fucking listens

Entry 22: Is he in on this?

Entry 23: Nope he’s not

Entry 24: Oh my fucking God, she is crazy

Entry 25: If the truth doesn’t matter then what’s the point?

Entry 26: SHOOT HER! What the fuck are you doing?!

Entry 27: Your not gonna make it.         

Entry 28: Shut the fuck up.
Plotline: Four ex classmates get together to celebrate the pregnancy of one of them. The venue chosen for the party is a country house located one hour away from the city. It has been a while since the four of them saw each other for the last time and one recently committed betrayal threatens to destroy their long and deep friendship. The revelation of a dark secret and a series of violent deaths transform the baby shower into a nightmare. A very disturbing one.

Scariness Factor: I’m going to give this one about 3 stars out of 5, there were more WTF and oh hell no moments than it was scary  

Gore Factor:  Again a 3, there’s torture and birth

High Points: Usually in horror movies we’re primed to think of the dark skinned/haired/clothed person as the villain director Pablo Illanes flips the script making the fair-haired one the bad guy which makes all the things she’s doing seem that much more off the chain.

One of the best scenes in the movie is right before the woman who leads the cult puts the S hook in Felipe’s neck. It was fun, wild, insane and unpredictable, toward the end I kept thinking about a T-shirt I had seen a girl wearing a few years ago that said ‘Hoes before Bros’ but jokes aside the ending is the perfect tragedy that will leave you asking ‘Now what?’

Complaints: The trailer. I almost missed the gem of a movie because when I saw the trailer I thought it looked cheesy it wasn’t until I read the write up over at the Horror Quest Film Festival site did I reconsider this movie. Glad I did.

Overall: I think watching horror movies should be an ‘interactive’ activity (which is why I watch them alone) and the more I yell at the people on the screen the more fun I’m having. I’m a tough customer and I can be pretty unforgiving when it comes to the myopic way in which I prefer to be entertained. With 28 entries and nearly a all female cast and an ending I didn't see coming this movie was a blast! I'll be keeping an eye on this director and all the actresses who carried this movie to the finish line.

Stars: Four Stars

Where I watched it : VOD

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