From the Mind of Master Imaginationist Crystal Connor ~"A Trusted Name in Terror."

The Darkness, Artificial Light, In The Valley of Shadows

Friday, August 22, 2014

Live Action Movie Reviews! The Custom Mary

Things you never see black people doing in horror movies: Thing # 9

Lean over the body to check to see if the killer is dead.

On Aug 20th, 2014, after arriving home after celebrating her little sister's birthday Crystal Connor noticed an email with the subject line: Since you wrote The End is Now and loved I'm Not Jesus Mommy... Intrigued she opened it and found a Hulu link. Sitting at her computer wrapped in a fleece blanket, she clicked the link. For the next 81 minutes her neighbors were subjected to screaming, crying, and expletive outburst...

This is the unedited journal chronicling the harrowing experience her neighbors were forced to endure as she watched, Matt Dunnerstick's 2013 The Custom Mary

Reader discretion is Advised

Entry 1: Oh my God I love the narrator's voice.

Entry 2: Ok, when a preacher says 'we alone read the exact page of His purest word' that should be the equivalent of a HUGE neon bridge out ahead sign and you need to pay more than just attn to the shit he says next.

Entry 3: OMG she is so adorable!

Entry 4: Oh hell no! The Order of the who?!

Entry 5: See! That's why you need to know your bible. 

Entry 6: Mary listen to that voice that's screaming in your head right now.

Entry 7: Which bible are you reading?!

Entry 8: What did they just do to her?

Entry 9: Spelling casting? You just fucked it up for everyone

Entry 10: He just said 'If we can clone a lamb, we can clone the Lamb of God, no problem.'™ What the fuck?

Entry 11: Ok so that whole Mark 13:32-33 thing really doesn't matter? 

Entry 12: You just gonna let them perform a medical procedure on you in a grown man's bedroom who still lives at home w/his Mamma?

Entry 13: Your going to Hell on a scholarship program

Entry 14: Right!

Entry 15: It's too late now

Entry 16: The baby is black!

Entry 17: Oh my God they just left her

Entry 18: Where's Joseph? Ok, there he is

Entry 19: omg they are the cutest parents

Entry 20: That's what you guys fucking get

Entry 21: Yeah she does

Entry 22: Oh my God

Entry 23: That's so fucked up

Entry 24: Really?!

Entry 25: You need to go find her

Entry 26: She is not about to spend 40 days/40 nights wandering around Victorville

Entry 27: She's gonna die out there

Entry 28: Did she die?!!!

Entry 29: That's a hellofa vision

Entry 30: There can only be one but you've clone 11

Entry 31: It's your own fault, if you had read the bible for yourself and not listened to some charlatan you would be in this situation. None of you would.

Entry 32 : HOLY SHIT!!!

Entry 33 : Oh my God

Entry 34 : Wow

Plotline: "The story of The Custom Mary involves two preachers and a scientist, who discover two drops of Jesus Christ's blood. They use this material to clone Christ and to impregnate the young Mary with Christ's DNA. Along the way, Mary becomes involved with a lowrider mechanic named Joe, but their relationship is tested when Mary's pregnancy does not go as planned. Mary undergoes a transformation of faith, while finding new relationships on the dangerous streets of East Los Angeles." 
- Written by Josh Taubensee for IMDb 

Scariness Factor: This is not a horror film, I would say its religious based science fiction, but if you give yourself a moment to think about the implications of what they're doing, its terrifying 

Gross-out Factor: N/A

High Points: This is an urban story, and the two main actors are speaking an urban language and its authentic! There's none the overly exaggerated stereotyping that reinforces the negative images and assumptions about people living in the inner city. I was so impressed by that, that I paused the movie to look up the writer and was surprised to see that it's a white guy. The diversity and the complexity and depths of the characters of color was welcoming & refreshing

I loved how each chapter of the movie was indicated by graffiti art that was drawn right on top of the moving picture. There's tons of symbolism which allows the movie to convey a lot of information without dialogue.

Speaking of dialogue, another thing that was masterfully done is the metaphorically use of words. The Joseph in this story is a mechanic and the way he talks about his car to explain the things in the world sounds biblical. There is another character in the movie that looks like a 'Our Lady of ...' icons, the things she says are profound, but she works on cars too so her spiritual advice is mechanical as well. Your gonna have to see it for yourself because I cant explain the awesomeness.  

There are so many layers to this movie that I am going to watch it again, but the thing that stayed with me was how these powerful men preyed on the faith of the believers.

Complaints: None.

Overall: I think watching horror movies should be an 'interactive'€™ activity (which is why I watch them alone) and the more I yell at the people on the screen the more fun I'm having. I'm a tough customer and I can be pretty unforgiving when it comes to the myopic way in which I prefer to be entertained. And OMG this movie was fucking amazing! 

Ok, let me back up a bit. Vaughn Juares 2010 I'm Not Jesus Mommy landed on my top five list and has stayed there for the last four years. It's a low budget indie that has plenty to complain about, despite this, the story is so strong it overcomes all of the things that a lot of indie films can't help. It's a testament that fans will forgive anything if the story is compelling. 

I have to say that Matt Dunnerstick's 2011 The Custom Mary has rudely rearranged my entire top 10 list

Stars: 5 solid stars!

Where I watched it : Hulu

Oh, before I forget get, The End is Now reference is for one of the books I co-wrote w/paranormal romance & dark fantasy author Lori Titus under the pen name of Connor Titus. Here is the Amazon link if you wanna check it out.

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