Live Action Reviews! The Baby Shower

Things you never see black people doing in horror movies: Thing #23

Walk by a window with the killer standing right there and NOT see him! We make great use of peripheral vision!

At 1:30 am on Sept 30^th 2014, Crystal Connor, bundled up in bed, downloaded a movie to her computer and clicked play.  For the next 89 minutes her neighbors were subjected to screaming, crying, and expletive outburst…

This is the unedited journal chronicling the harrowing experience her neighbors were forced to endure as she watched, Pablo Illanes 2011 Baby Shower

Reader discretion is Advised

Entry 1: No. Your kids need more than just you.

Entry 2: If you didn’t want anyone to answer the phn you should have unplugged it.

Entry 3: What truth?

Entry 4: What the hell?

Entry 5: Bad ass little boy!

Entry 6: Ok no, I don’t like this woman. They need to get Angela outta there.

Entry 7: Yeah, don’t leave her there

Entry 8: Wow

Entry 9: No they can’t leave!

Entry 10: The fucking tea

Entry 11: Oh my fucking God, what in the hell?!

Entry 12: Now who the fuck is this guy?

Entry 13: No she’s not, she’s throwing up blood.

Entry 14: Fuck this poor girl

Entry 15: What kinda people are these…

Entry 16: Don’t scream

Entry 17: GO BACK TO THE HOUSE

Entry 18: Hold the fucking phone, did Angela plan all of this over some fucking guy?!

Entry 19: NO! THAT’S NOT OLIVIA

Entry 20: Are you happy now? Those were your friends

Entry 21: Hit her again! See, no one fucking listens

Entry 22: Is he in on this?

Entry 23: Nope he’s not

Entry 24: Oh my fucking God, she is crazy

Entry 25: If the truth doesn’t matter then what’s the point?

Entry 26: SHOOT HER! What the fuck are you doing?!

Entry 27: Your not gonna make it.         

Entry 28: Shut the fuck up.

Plotline: Four ex classmates get together to celebrate the pregnancy of one of them. The venue chosen for the party is a country house located one hour away from the city. It has been a while since the four of them saw each other for the last time and one recently committed betrayal threatens to destroy their long and deep friendship. The revelation of a dark secret and a series of violent deaths transform the baby shower into a nightmare. A very disturbing one.

Scariness Factor: I’m going to give this one about 3 stars out of 5, there were more WTF and oh hell no moments than it was scary  

Gore Factor:  Again a 3, there’s torture and birth

High Points: Usually in horror movies we’re primed to think of the dark skinned/haired/clothed person as the villain director Pablo Illanes flips the script making the fair-haired one the bad guy which makes all the things she’s doing seem that much more off the chain.

One of the best scenes in the movie is right before the woman who leads the cult puts the S hook in Felipe’s neck. It was fun, wild, insane and unpredictable, toward the end I kept thinking about a T-shirt I had seen a girl wearing a few years ago that said ‘Hoes before Bros’ but jokes aside the ending is the perfect tragedy that will leave you asking ‘Now what?’

Complaints: The trailer. I almost missed the gem of a movie because when I saw the trailer I thought it looked cheesy it wasn’t until I read the write up over at the Horror Quest Film Festival site did I reconsider this movie. Glad I did.

Overall: I think watching horror movies should be an ‘interactive’ activity (which is why I watch them alone) and the more I yell at the people on the screen the more fun I’m having. I’m a tough customer and I can be pretty unforgiving when it comes to the myopic way in which I prefer to be entertained. With 28 entries and nearly a all female cast and an ending I didn't see coming this movie was a blast! I'll be keeping an eye on this director and all the actresses who carried this movie to the finish line.

Stars: Four Stars

Where I watched it : VOD

In loving memory of Jeremy McSpadden

An 18-year-old from Spokane Valley was killed last night in the Incredible Corn Maze at Hauser Lake when a bus inside the maze struck him, according to the Kootenai County Sheriff’s Office.

***

 After the incredible time I had with my sister and friends last night at several haunted attractions this is the most heart breaking news to wake up to.

For those of you who follow my live action movie reviews and or like my random status updates of me screaming at people in horror movies know nothing provokes my righteous ire more than people who choose to run into the cornfields when fleeing from monsters and madmen.

Last night was the very 1^st time my sister and I were actually in a cornfield. The 1^st thing a city

dweller notices when being in real life farm country is how dark it is at night. It’s even darker in a corn field, it’s naturally claustrophobic and the terrain is uneven. Being inside a corn field at night is unsettling even when nothing is going on, so much so that I broke the cardinal rule by instantly utilized my flashlight app on my phone. The rebuke was immediate.

Its easy to Monday morning quarterback or be an armchair general but this isn’t what this is about because I can totally see how something like this could happen.

The Seattle horror community is a pretty tight knit family, and the people who are responsible for putting these haunts together take their jobs seriously even thou 90% of them are volunteers. They work incredibly hard and put in tons of hours to put on the best show that they possibly can, brainstorming and planning starting months in advance. They vent to their friends about what goes on behind the scenes, call each other out and then fight on facebook about perceived slackers and the injustice of towing someone else’s line. They go to each other’s haunts to critique each other’s sets because they want the equivalent of the fan’s choice awards in the form of longer lines, glowing reviews, and tons of social media tags.

They do this all for us, so I can totally see how something like this could happen. But…

Working around heavy equipment my entire adult life there is a huge piece of me that drops everything to ask ‘how safe is this?’ the minute any type of machinery is involved. I stand in line at amusement parks scrutinizing the framework looking for the tell-tale signs of properly preventive and the upkeeping of schedule maintenance, making a b-line to the food court at the 1^st sign of a rusted bolt, the faintest whisper of dry, grinding gears.

Without a doubt there is blame here, but I’m not the one to cast it. The zombie slayer bus was a brand new attraction for  the Incredible Corn Maze at Hauser Lake. A brand new attraction just for us…the fans.

I didn’t know this kid, but my heart is breaking just the same because I know a dozen kids and adults just like him. They do what they do for the sheer love of it. They do what they do for us, the fans. But at the end of the day, we the fans are not worth this. My deepest condolences to the McSpadden family and to everyone who knew and loved Jeremy. 

Spokane Valley Teen Killed at Hauser Corn Maze

Finally...damn

It took me almost 2 days because it hadn't been done since 12 but I finally updated my blog. I still have to update my DVD pick of the week archive but all of the other pages have been updated. 

Almost everything is done in my side bar. All of my books are clickable, so if you want to purchase a book from this blog, at this very moment you can. Just click the book cover and you'll be directed to where you'll have the opportunity  to purchase the book via my eStore.

In the next few days I will also have a side bar with all the kindle/eReader links!

Til next time,
The wordsmith

Dudes! It's Friday!

Happy Friday guys!

Today’s stop on my tour is an interview with Darcia @ A Word Please. I hope you have to time to check it out. If you missed any stops so far here is the full schd’l

http://junipergrovebooksolutions.com/happily-ever-crystal-connor/

Speaking of Juniper Grove Book Solutions, Jaidis Shaw the founder, gave birth to 8lbs 10oz beautiful baby girl! Whoo Hoo!

Me and my kid sister start our insane visit every single haunted house in Seattle tonight and we’re going to be going to three of them tonight to get things start right =D Check my instagram for the pix!

So here are all the horror movies that will be on TV in North America tonight and thru the weekend if you’re planning on staying in…don’t forget to check your local listings, if your going out have fun and be safe. Talk to you guys soon!

Oct 10

12:15 a.m. Constantine, HBO 2

 1:25 p.m. Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood, HBO Comedy

 3:00 a.m. Manhunter, Showtime

 7:00 a.m. The Monitor, Chiller

 9:00 a.m. Paranormal Entity, Chiller

 11:00 a.m. Descendants, Chiller

 1:00 p.m. Devil’s Playground, Chiller

 3:00 p.m. Ghostmaker, Chiller

 4:00 p.m. The Uninvited, SYFY

 5:00 p.m. Bad Kids Go to Hell, Chiller

 5:55 p.m. Constantine, HBO Zone

 6:00 p.m. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), SYFY

 6:30 p.m. The Last Exorcism Part II, Showtime

 7:00 p.m. My Bloody Valentine, Chiller

 7:15 p.m. Warm Bodies, HBO2

 9:00 p.m. Animal, Chiller

 9:30 p.m. Hostel, Showtime

Oct 11

2:00 a.m. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), SYFY

 5:50 a.m. Poltergeist III, HBO Zone

 6:00 a.m. ABCs of Death, Chiller

8:30 a.m. Gacy, Chiller

 9:00 a.m. Aliens, Sundance

 10:30 a.m. Vanishing on 7th Street, Chiller

 12:00 p.m. The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb, TCM

 12:30 p.m. The City of Lost Children, Chiller

 2:05 p.m. The Witches, HBO Family

 2:30 p.m. Chernobyl Diaries, SYFY

 3:00 p.m. Tormented, Chiller

 3:30 p.m. Red Dragon, HBO Zone

 4:40 p.m. Halloween II (2009), SYFY

 5:00 p.m. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Chiller

 5:45 p.m. Fallen, HBO Zone

 7:00 p.m. Freddy vs. Jason, SYFY

 7:00 p.m. Open House, Chiller

 9:00 p.m. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), SYFY

 9:00 p.m. Vacancy, Chiller

 11:00 p.m. Hostel, Part II, SYFY

Oct 12

1:00 a.m. Chernobyl Diaries, SYFY

 2:15 a.m. Blacula, TCM

 2:30 a.m. Aliens, Sundance

 3:00 a.m. Teeth, HBO Signature

 3:00 a.m. The Bleeding, SYFY

 3:25 a.m. The Hills Have Eyes (2006), HBO Zone

 4:00 a.m. Scream, Blacula Scream, TCM

 4:35 a.m. Cry Wolf, HBO Signature

5:25 a.m. Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight, HBO Comedy

 9:00 p.m. Stoker, HBO Signature

 10:30 a.m. Night of the Demons, SYFY

 12:30 p.m. Halloween II (2009), SYFY

 2:00 p.m. The Lost, Chiller

 3:00 p.m. Stir of Echoes, Sundance

 3:00 p.m. Hostel Part II, SYFY

 4:30 p.m. The Woman, Chiller

 5:00 p.m. Freddy vs. Jason, SYFY

 5:15 p.m. They Live, Sundance

 7:00 p.m. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), SYFY

 7:00 p.m. Seventh Moon, Chiller

 9:00 p.m. The Fog (2005) SYFY

 9:00 p.m. 13 Eerie, Chiller

 9:45 p.m. Warm Bodies, HBO Comedy

Video of the day:

Blog tour day 2!

Hi guys! Just a quick update today, still a little under the weather =/

Today’s stop on the tour for And They All Lived Happily Ever After is w/Elora, Marie & Layna over at Lunar Haven Reviews and Designs

http://lunarhavenrd.blogspot.com/2014/10/and-they-all-lived-happily-ever-after.html

***

Ok you guys, here are all the horror movies that will be on TV in North America for tomorrow Oct 8^th ! We can thank the guys over at the Atlantic but sure to take their suggestion and check your local listings

12:20 a.m. The Hills Have Eyes (2006), HBO Zone

 3:50 a.m. Poltergeist III, HBO Zone

 7:25 a.m. Cry Wolf, HBO Signature

 9:00 a.m. Hollow Man, AMC

 11:30 a.m. Deep Blue Sea (1999), AMC

 12:00 p.m. The Dead Zone, Sundance

 2:00 p.m. Snakes on a Plane, AMC

 3:00 p.m. Vile, Chiller

 4:00 p.m. Van Helsing, AMC

 5:00 p.m. Junkyard Dog, Chiller

 7:00 p.m. The Monkey’s Paw, Chiller

 8:00 p.m. Warm Bodies, HBO Comedy

 9:00 p.m. Madison County, Chiller

***

So I’m not gonna post a short film tonight but don’t worry I do have something planned for you! The 1^st thing I have for you is the reveal of my newest and official author promo spot =D

***

And the 2^nd little thing is gem! Ok it’ll take a few steps but trusted its worth it.

Step 1: In a new window open this link, immediately press pause then come back

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B39S3vUmalA

Step 2: In another new window open this link then come back here…

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/84313278/

Step 3: Go back to the 1^st link press play, then go to the 2^nd link and read the story. No need to thank me ;p

ttyal

Starring me!

¡Hola, amigos!

This 1^st stop in the 20 days of me tour is with  Laurie @ Laurie’s Thoughts and Reviews! This is my 2^nd time touring my anthology but this time around I’m promoting my audio book! Click the link to check it out.

http://lauries-interviews.blogspot.com/2014/10/and-they-all-lived-happily-ever-after.html#more

So like I’ve mentioned in earlier posts the guys over at the Atlantic has complied a list of all the horror movies that will be on TV in North America for the entire month of Oct! Here’s what’s on tomorrow Oct 7^th!

8:00 a.m. My Soul to Take, SYFY

 2:30 a.m. Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight, HBO Zone

 3:00 p.m. Razortooth, Chiller

 5:00 p.m. Spiders 2: Breeding Ground, Chiller

 7:00 p.m. The Arrival, Chiller

 7:45 p.m. The Dead Zone, Sundance

 9:00 p.m. Zombie Strippers, IFC

 9:00 p.m. Black Cadillac, Chiller

***

Our short feature for today is a sci-fi entry called The Device! Enjoy, see you around the web…

LIVE ACTION REVIEWS! At the Devil's Door

Things you never see black people doing in horror movies: Thing # 30

Ignoring the deep, scary voice that said "Get out now!"

At 1:30 am on Sept 12th, 2014, Crystal Connor, wrapped in a fleece blanket, seated in front of the fireplace with a bowl of cereal picked up her remote and clicked play.  For the next hour and 34 minutes her neighbors were subjected to screaming, crying, and expletive outburst¦

This is the unedited journal chronicling the harrowing experience her neighbors were forced to endure as she watched, Nicholas McCarthy's Home aka At The Devil's Door

Reader discretion is Advised

Entry 1: Really?! You just sold your soul for $500.00

Entry 2: You gonna need those tennis shoes too.

Entry 3: Was that me?

Entry 4: DON'T!

Entry 5: Oh my fucking God, here we go =D

Entry 6: No dude, no one wants to sell a house that fast, do your research.

Entry 7: Ohhhh ok, that's where I've seen her, that's the girl from Magic Magic

Entry 8: Its too late now chicca

Entry 9: The alarm went off, so you go close the door and stay inside?! 

Entry 10: Look behind you!

Entry 11: Leave that fucking mirror covered up

Entry 12: See, I fucking told you

Entry 13: The fuck?

Entry 14: Oh my God pls don't hurt this baby

Entry 15: No, no, no, no, no

Entry 16:WHAT?!

Entry 17: Why did you go at night? Really¦

Entry 18: What's the deal with uncovering the mirror

Entry 19: GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE!!!!

Entry 20: You know damn well you didn't leave that door open

Entry 21: Why would you do that?!

Entry 22: She's not gonna listen¦ they never do

Entry 23: What the fuck are you packing for, just get in the car and leave

Entry 24: Too late now, its been eight months

Entry 25: lol, she's even got on little red shoes

Entry 26: No! Your being lured into a trap.

Entry 27: DUDE TURN AROUND!!!! 

Entry 28: Oh my fucking God.

Entry 29: This is best movie I've seen in my entire life

Plotline: When ambitious young real estate agent Leigh is asked to sell a house with a checkered past, she crosses paths with a disturbed girl whom she learns is the runaway daughter of the couple selling the property. When Leigh tries to intervene and help her, she becomes entangled with a supernatural force that soon pulls Leigh's artist sister Vera into its web - and has sinister plans for both of them.

Scariness Factor: Off the scales!

Gross-out Factor:  N/A

High Points: This is a really smart, multi-layered, deceiving plot and when you finally realize what's really happening its completely stunning and unexpected. The true victim of this movie was truly innocent and was caught up in something horrific, through no fault of her own which made what happen that much worse.

ATDD is character driven and most of the cast are women. Except for the foolish decisions of a child, there not stupid, air-headed women running around nearly naked and playing with an Ouija boards or attempting to summon the dead, which makes it easy to worry about them.!  

Another thing that I loved but didn't catch until I watched it again was none of the people in the movie are screaming. 

I hate it when they show the monster, when we saw the beast from M. Night Shyamalan's Signs it ruined the entire movie. The monster makes an appearance a couple of times but it's so fleeting you can't even see it  

Complaints: None.

Overall: I think watching horror movies should be an ˜interactive€activity (which is why I watch them alone) and the more I yell at the people on the screen the more fun I'm having. I'm a tough customer and I can be pretty unforgiving when it comes to the myopic way in which I prefer to be entertained. At 29 nine entires this movie was a blast! I loved the characters, the storyline and the ending...OMG. I am going to watch it again and then go find all the other movies this guy has ever produced! 

Stars: Five full blazing stars

Where I watched it : VOD

***

The guys over on the Atlantic compiled a list of every single horror movie that will be on TV for the entire month of Oct, so if you live in North America here are all the horror movies that will be on TV tomorrow. Oh and be sure to follow their advice and check your local listings

 1:00 a.m. Heavy Metal 2000, Chiller

 2:35 a.m. The Conjuring, HBO

 9:00 a.m. The Cursed, SYFY

 11:00 a.m. Stephen King’s Rose Red, SYFY

 11:30 a.m. Warm Bodies, HBO2

 2:00 p.m. Trollhunter, Chiller

 2:25 p.m. Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight, HBO Comedy

 4:30 p.m. Elsewhere, Chiller

 5:00 p.m. The Reaping, SYFY

 5:50 p.m. Red Dragon, HBO Zone

 7:00 p.m. Terror Trap, Chiller

 9:00 p.m. Shutter, SYFY

 9:00 p.m. The Second Arrival, Chiller

***

Ok, today's short film is absolutely one of my favorites because I am so easily seduced by visuals€¦I always have been. Another reason why Carousel works for me is that it tells a story with using words. I super love the graphics and these are the type of images I want you to 'see'€™ when your reading a book w/my name on it. Speaking of which I gotta get some writing done! Enjoy the night and I'll see you all 2morrow.

31 days of me! Ok, well more like 20

Things you never see black people doing in horror movies: Thing # 20

Go into a house again after we find out it's haunted.

 Dudes! David Sims, Kevin O'Keeffe, Shirley Li, Arit John, and Joe Reid over at The Atlantic listed every single horror movie that's playing on TV every single day in North America for the month of October! It's like the ultimate list for a couch potato horror movie fanatic like me. (insert angles singing here) I'm totally gonna share this list one day at a time by listing what's on tomorrow so that you can plan your schedule accordingly. Oh, and another thing I am going to do is embed a short film that I liked from around the web at the bottom of this list.

Your welcome!

But wait, 1^st let me explain the 20 days of me part. Starting Monday I am going back on tour with Juniper Grove Book Solutions featuring ...And They All Lived Happily After! and this time not only am I touring the paperback,€I also have an audiobook!

 I am so excited about it and the best part is that this version (link below) of the audio book is free forever on Podiobooks.com =D There's going to be deluxe version that you'll be able to buy on Amazon and iTunes w/bonus features but the release date is TBA because it's still in post production. It's already been downloaded over 14,000 times, nearly 700 DLs already for Oct. I'm still pinching myself, its just been so incredible. 

And They All Lived Happily Ever Aafter! Free download

Ok so here's what's on tomorrow Oct. 4^th

1:05 a.m. Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines, SYFY

1:30 a.m. Van Helsing, AMC

1:45 a.m. Teeth, HBO Signature

3:13 a.m. The Hills Have Eyes (2006), HBO2

5:05 a.m. Cry Wolf, HBO Signature

7:00 a.m. Monster House, Chiller

9:00 a.m. Christine, Chiller

11:00 a.m. Day of the Dead 2: Contagium, Chiller

12:00 p.m. The Mummy (1959), TCM

12:00 p.m. The Last Exorcism Part II, Showtime

1:00 p.m. Dead Before Dawn, Chiller

3:00 p.m. Resurrection County, Chiller

3:00 p.m. Peeping Tom, TCM

4:10 p.m. Constantine, HBO Zone

5:00 p.m. Hidden, Chiller

5:00 p.m. Resident Evil: Extinction, SYFY

7:00 p.m. Soul Survivors, Chiller

7:00 p.m. The Reaping, SYFY

9:00 p.m. Urban Legend, Chiller

11:00 p.m. Heavy Metal, Chiller

Enjoy! See you all tomorrow =D