Ummm...Houston, we have a problem.

Ok, if its me that's correcting written grammar errors ... me with my illiterate non-spelling, run on sentence writing ass then you can best believe the end is near. See, what had happened was...

I am now publishing thru Createspace and a few days ago I uploaded the cover and interior so that I could order a print test/format copy basically its just a Go/no go test to make sure I'm ready once the final edits are complete because after the Aug 6th things are going to move wicked fast.

So I upload everything and wait for approval. And this is the error message I recv'd:

The interior and cover files for ...And They All Lived ..., have been reviewed. The cover file does not meet our submission requirements for the reason(s) listed below. Please make any necessary adjustments to your cover file and upload it again by logging in to createspace.com. The author name for this book was listed as Crystal Connor but the cover indicates the author name is Crystal Connor,s . The author name displayed on the cover must match the author name entered during title setup.

OMFG are you kidding me?! Here how I responded to this email:

First of all I used an apostrophe: Crystal Connor's, not a comma Crystal Connor,s. Now the apostrophe has three uses:
1. to form possessives
2. to show the omission of letters
3. to indicate certain plurals of lower case letters
The apostrophe usage here is to indicate possession and if you refer to my previous titles The Darkness ISBN 978-1466369559 and Artificial Light ISBN 978-14791042, both of which were published thru Createspace, the use of the apostrophe was allowed. Thank you in advance for your prompt attn in the matter.

Problem solved right? No. But wait there's more:


Hello Crystal, Thank you for contacting us and raising some valid points in regard to the author's name mismatch we detected. We''ll need to do some more research and I'm sure with all the information you have provided, we will get to the bottom this. I am connecting with our Technical Services team in order to get the best answer. You will hear from us within one to two business days. I really appreciate your patience. As always, please feel free to contact us if you have any other questions or concerns Best regards, CreateSpace Member Services

(Insert gun in mouth. Pull trigger.)

Valid points? No its basic English grammar which doesn't require the assistance of a Technical Services team. The person I've been corresponding to has a very exotic looking name which means Createspace outsourced this part of the process to a country outside the United States. Now I think everyone in the world would agree that its a challenge talking with someone when language is a barrier ... however I think its effn BS to hire a workforce to review works written in English and the only qualification needed is a certificate of completion of an ESL class.

That I have to explain grammar to a person who was hired to be a proofreader is insanely frustrating and having to wait to hear back from the 'Technical Service team' is nowhere near convenient.